Being a mom to a toddler can one minute make me want to shed a million happy tears and bottle up the good feelings and the other minute make me want to run out the door and scream at the top of my lungs with frustration. Most of my frustration comes from when my child does not like the word no and refuses to do what I ask her. Pretty typical of kiddos!! When that word comes out of my mouth, she either flashes a look I call "evils", throws whatever might be closest to her, or hits me or pulls my hair. If your little angel does anything remotely similar, try these 3 ways to NOT use NO!!!
1. In life, I try to be mindful with my own choices and think, "Safety First", so when your little one wants to touch that oven or climb up that chair, say, "that isn't safe" and replace it with something that is safe. Reassure her when she is making a safe choice by saying, "you did a great job! That is safe". You can also say, "that is not a safe choice" and give her a something that is full of safety and let her know, "that is a safe choice". When you catch her being safe, let her know!! Thumbs up!
2. You know that "look" that you can give without even saying a word!! Use it and point to where your child needs to go, when they are doing something you do not want them to do. If the "look" and pointing (without talking), isn't working, still keep quiet and move your child's body to where you want them. For example, my daughter throws her milk on the floor and when she does this, I give her the "look" and point and if she doesn't move off her chair and pick it up, I say nothing and go over to her and move her body ever so gently off the chair and towards her milk and we pick it up together and move her back to her chair and I say, thank you for picking this up and now you can finish your milk. 2 thumbs up!!
3. The power of distraction! Aren't we always looking for a distraction when we are procrastinating and putting off something that we don't want to do?!?! We all do it and it works, so use it with your toddler. My toddler didn't want to wash her hands before dinner. I picked her up and she screamed and almost wiggled out of my arms, until I quickly said, "OMG, smell my hands, I just washed them and they smell so good!! Let's see your hands. Are you ready to make them smell good too?" and whammy, we got passed it and I did not ever use the word no!!!
It's not always easy to do in the moment, and we are not saints and always as patient as we wish we were, but try these 3 ideas out and see how they go!!! Good luck mamas!!!
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- Tags: disciplining your toddler, how to say no to your toddler, toddler behavior, toddler talk